Dear Tony,
Focus on moving ahead in one small step. Don't think any further than that step.
Try not to think about failure, either.
In my experience, very few efforts completely fail. If you try, you will often go forward, even if it is not as far as you would like. You might stumble a little but still end up ahead. Or sometimes when I tried I improved but not in the area I had hoped. That can be very annoying, especially if I needed to change certain things, but it is still an improvement.
If you try and are overwhelmed, stop. Most likely you tried to do too much. I say again and again to go in small steps, but figuring out the details of that can be very challenging. If you start to relapse back off. Later on, try to figure out what went wrong. Maybe you need to go a little slower. Also, if your outside life is stressful you might need to stop trying to change yourself. Often, it is overwhelming to deal with internal change as you are dealing with external stress. You just need to cope as best as you can until your life settles down more.
But even if you do fail, you will still learn about yourself and what you can and can not do. That is an improvement in itself.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
12/4/11
Dear Tony,
There was an article recently in The New York Times asking if it is worthwhile to try to find meaning in a person's delusions and hallilucinations. Most doctors say no. But some people who are successfully living with mental illness are saying yes. Here is the link to the article: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/26/health/man-uses-his-schizophrenia-to-gather-clues-for-daily-living.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=living%20with%20mental%20illness&st=cse
I say yes. These thoughts are coming from your brain; they are coming from things you have previously thought or experienced. They are not coming out in a form which is logical or culturally appropriate or easily understandable. But they are coming from you and your past experiences. They mean something.
That does not mean that every thought is worth analyzing. Our thoughts become mixed with each other; you may have appropriate reactions to past experiences at inappropriate times. But overall, I have seen a general pattern with myself. I have recurring memories of being exploited during times when I feel I am being exploited. I have flashbacks of episodes when I could not assert myself during present-day situations when I am unable to assert myself. They do not always come out neatly. Sometimes I am just annoyed for some other reason (e.g., I'm hungry or too tired). But over time I have seen a general pattern.
I would suggest focusing on the thoughts you keep having. Memories you can't rid yourself of, especially if the incident was trivial. It means something. There is something behind it.
There was an article recently in The New York Times asking if it is worthwhile to try to find meaning in a person's delusions and hallilucinations. Most doctors say no. But some people who are successfully living with mental illness are saying yes. Here is the link to the article: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/26/health/man-uses-his-schizophrenia-to-gather-clues-for-daily-living.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=living%20with%20mental%20illness&st=cse
I say yes. These thoughts are coming from your brain; they are coming from things you have previously thought or experienced. They are not coming out in a form which is logical or culturally appropriate or easily understandable. But they are coming from you and your past experiences. They mean something.
That does not mean that every thought is worth analyzing. Our thoughts become mixed with each other; you may have appropriate reactions to past experiences at inappropriate times. But overall, I have seen a general pattern with myself. I have recurring memories of being exploited during times when I feel I am being exploited. I have flashbacks of episodes when I could not assert myself during present-day situations when I am unable to assert myself. They do not always come out neatly. Sometimes I am just annoyed for some other reason (e.g., I'm hungry or too tired). But over time I have seen a general pattern.
I would suggest focusing on the thoughts you keep having. Memories you can't rid yourself of, especially if the incident was trivial. It means something. There is something behind it.
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