Dear Tony,
How do you choose where to begin? It admittedly can be very tricky.
I've said it before: Start with what you can do, not what you most need.
That sometimes can be difficult to figure out.
Any positive change is a step in the right direction. If you had skills which you lost in the last several months, try to start there. It is often easier to re-gain skills. Somehow our subconscious seems to hold on to them for a while.
Another possibility is to look at something you already do well and try to make it still better. That might be difficult to do when you have other problems. But it is still a positive change, and every positive change is good.
The most important piece is not the change itself. It is learning how to make changes and adjust yourself to changes. That may well be the most difficult skill you ever need to learn. But once you learn how to make your life better your life will become better. No matter how small the changes are.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
11/13/11
Dear Tony,
I want to remind you that you need to go one step at a time.
I have come a long way since I was hospitalized. But I needed to do it piece by piece. If I tried to go too far, I would crumble. Recovering from mental illness is about a million small steps. In my expeience, there are very few big steps.
I think of it as building a foundation. When you are building anything, literally or figuratively, you build one brick, one nail, one small piece bit by bit.
You can do impressive things, but you need to do them a little at a time.
I want to remind you that you need to go one step at a time.
I have come a long way since I was hospitalized. But I needed to do it piece by piece. If I tried to go too far, I would crumble. Recovering from mental illness is about a million small steps. In my expeience, there are very few big steps.
I think of it as building a foundation. When you are building anything, literally or figuratively, you build one brick, one nail, one small piece bit by bit.
You can do impressive things, but you need to do them a little at a time.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
11/1/11
Dear Tony,
I want to expand on what I wrote in the last post about having feelings.
The first feeling you have is pain. That is to be expected. I have really genuinely had some very bad things happen to me, and I would bet you have, too. Of course you feel pain. It would not be healthy to suffer and not feel pain. As I said, pain can sometimes be a good thing. It means that you are still able to have feelings. Some of the sickest people just go numb.
Once you start having feelings they come in out of control. They can come flooding back. There could be a minor feeling about a minor upset that just refuses to leave. They become mixed with each other. For a long time, I would focus and emphasize with small issues while ignoring larger ones. No one has been able to adequately explain feelings. Every conscious human being sometimes wishes s/he had the capacity to turn his/her feelings on and off the way we turn a television on and off. We don’t have that capacity.
When my feelings started flooding me, I had to sort it out. This took just about every spare minute I had (and then some). I had to consider, dwell on, and analyze every feeling which I had. This was not because I really believed every feeling I had deserved such contemplation and expression. I simply lacked any sort of triage system.
I was eventually able to understand, and start to triage most of my feelings. I know I could not have done it without all the contemplation. There are no shortcuts to that I can suggest. It was definitely worth it, and it was definitely necessary to my recovery. But it was very laborious.
I want to expand on what I wrote in the last post about having feelings.
The first feeling you have is pain. That is to be expected. I have really genuinely had some very bad things happen to me, and I would bet you have, too. Of course you feel pain. It would not be healthy to suffer and not feel pain. As I said, pain can sometimes be a good thing. It means that you are still able to have feelings. Some of the sickest people just go numb.
Once you start having feelings they come in out of control. They can come flooding back. There could be a minor feeling about a minor upset that just refuses to leave. They become mixed with each other. For a long time, I would focus and emphasize with small issues while ignoring larger ones. No one has been able to adequately explain feelings. Every conscious human being sometimes wishes s/he had the capacity to turn his/her feelings on and off the way we turn a television on and off. We don’t have that capacity.
When my feelings started flooding me, I had to sort it out. This took just about every spare minute I had (and then some). I had to consider, dwell on, and analyze every feeling which I had. This was not because I really believed every feeling I had deserved such contemplation and expression. I simply lacked any sort of triage system.
I was eventually able to understand, and start to triage most of my feelings. I know I could not have done it without all the contemplation. There are no shortcuts to that I can suggest. It was definitely worth it, and it was definitely necessary to my recovery. But it was very laborious.
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