Dear Tony,
In order to improve, you need to figure out what you really need.
I attached a recommended reading list to the original page: http://beyondmentalillness.blogspot.com. My most recommended books are the ones by Bruce Perry, a child psychiatrist. His ideas have formed the basis of my own treatment. To grossly simplify his theories, if a child has a trauma at a young age it does not necessarily matter what they consciously remember or how they feel about it years later. If a child has a trauma before the age of five, when the brain is still forming, and essentially does not have the opportunity to run around and explore the world and act like a child, it can affect the way the brain forms. That can affect things later, even if the child receives good care afterward.
I had a severe physical illness just before I turned three. Dr. Perry blasts many professionals for not recognizing the effects early trauma can have on people. In my case, most people did sort of suspect that my illness was at the root of my problems, but no one could really figure it out.
According to Dr. Perry, people in that situation need stimulation and skill-building aimed at the age they missed it, not their current chronological age. In my case, I needed to figure out what skills I had missed and come up with ways to obtain them. That has been the most helpful approach I have encountered in my life. I needed to build skills one at a time, and it took a while. I am still working on some of the more advanced skills. I will write more about some of the details of what I did later. For now — read the books.
